News and Blues

Your weekly dose of weird and funny news.

Curses, Foiled Again

Police arrested gunman Christopher Trail for holding six people hostage at a pharmacy in Red Bay, Ala. He let five of them go but kept pharmacist Donna Weatherford, who said he forced her to supply him with drugs. After an hour, he asked for a recliner. Told there was none, he pulled some chairs together and dozed off. Weatherford picked up the shotgun and fled to safety. (

Aroma Therapy

American law-enforcement agencies seeking ways to disperse rioters without killing or injuring them are considering importing a chemical product that Israeli police insist “prevents casualties to protesters and security personnel.” Called Skunk, it smells like raw sewage mixed with putrefying cow’s carcass. Israeli soldiers regularly spray Skunk from water cannons at Palestinian protestors. The mixture of yeast and protein is non-toxic, according to its manufacturer, pesticide specialist Odortec, and the only reported side effect is difficulty getting the stench out of clothing and off bodies. (The Economist)

Slightest Provocation

Thirty people were asked to leave an America’s Best Value Inn in Mason County, Mich., after a disagreement over the waffle maker in the buffet-style breakfast area. “It sounded like one lady walked up and asked the other lady if she was in line for the waffle maker,” Sheriff Kim Cole said. “She didn’t answer, so this lady started to make her waffle. The other confronted her and said, ‘That was my waffle,’ and the other lady said, ‘No, it’s mine,’ and then it went downhill from there.” Cole said that deputies arrived to find “a large group of people arguing over the waffle maker” and “a lot of yelling and screaming, but no one was assaulted.” (

Private Justice

The backlog of court cases in Florida is prompting people waiting for trials to turn to private judges. They promise speedy and private settlements, “not in open courtroom, where everyone and their brother is attending,” said Robert Evans, a public judge for 20 years before he went private. “My marketing motto is: ‘How would you like your trial tomorrow?’” Orange County Chief Judge Fred Lauten conceded that “private judging comes with a cost,” pointing out that people who “can’t even afford an attorney … they’re not going to be able to afford a private judge.” (Orlando’s WKMG-TV)

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