News and Blues

Your weekly dose of weird and funny news.

Curses, Foiled Again

Leslie Paul Ash, 39, broke into a recycling center in Somerset, England, and stole several scrap items. He remembered to wear a mask at the scene, but he put it on outside, directly in front of a surveillance camera. Investigators easily identified him. After Ash confessed, a magistrate sentenced him to pay 100 pounds ($160): 60 pounds ($96) of which was a “victim surcharge.” (Britain’s Cheddar Valley Gazette)

Police in Panama, Okla., charged Brandon Lee Aaron, 27, with statutory rape after his 15-year-old victim identified him by a tattoo of his ex-girlfriend’s name on his penis. (Tulsa World)

Handyman Follies

Canadian authorities deported Tom Rolfe, 24, for fixing cracks in the wall of his girlfriend’s Edmonton apartment. Even though the British man, visiting on a tourist visa, was doing the repairs for free, officials pointed out that immigration rules prohibit tourists from performing any work that a Canadian could be hired to do. (Ottawa Sun)

Slightest Provocation

Police reported that a 28-year-old man was grilling on his patio in Buffalo Grove, Ill., when his upstairs neighbor complained about the fumes coming into his apartment. When the man ignored him and continued grilling, the upstairs neighbor “retorted by throwing a stool and chair down” to the patio, police said. (Chicago Tribune)

Alternate Theory of the Crime

British magistrates cleared Thomas Clark, 28, of voyeurism charges, even after he admitted hiding his phone in the unisex toilet where he worked with the intention of filming other workers at their office in Southgate. He denied taking pictures of women for sexual thrills, insisting he has an extreme phobia of diarrhea and vomit, so he wanted to make sure that no one using the toilet ahead of him had diarrhea or had vomited.

“I try to keep the phobia to myself,” Clark testified, saying it began when he was eight. “It got to such a severe stage where I felt completely trapped, with panic attacks, and could only get reassurance by putting my phone in the toilet.” (Britain’s Crawley News)

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