What? ‘Bills’ and ‘Congel’ in the Same Sentence?

Scott Congel is a pay-his-own-way guy. Straight shooter — just like his Old Man. You’re going to love this guy, West Seneca.

Hello, West Seneca? Are you there?

West Seneca?

Oh, there you are. Hi. This is Syracuse calling. For a second I was afraid that you weren’t going to pick up when you saw it was the 315.

Snow emergency? No, we’re fine. Normally we don’t get much snow in August, but thanks for asking.

The purpose of this call? Well, there’s this guy, Scott. He’s, like, a member of our family. He’s spending some time with you guys in West Seneca this summer. We were just thinking . . .

Right. That Scott. Scott Congel. The son-of-the-Destiny USA guy.

No! For God’s sake don’t send him back to Syracuse. He doesn’t even live here anymore.

How can you help? Um, we were just hoping that — as a neighborly gesture — you could show him around your town, give him a hot meal, issue him $128 million in general obligation bonds. That sort of thing.

Scott a deadbeat? Why would you even say that? He’s a pay-his-own-way guy. Straight shooter — just like his old man. You’re going to love this guy.

Con job? Where’s all this negativity coming from? Carl Paladino? Seriously? Who’s he to talk about con jobs? There’s no deception here. When a Congel says he’s going to do a major redevelopment of a mall, you can take it to the bank. Maybe not Citigroup, but any other bank.

What do you mean you don’t trust him? That’s insulting. You guys should feel lucky that Scott wants to revive your dead-ass mall in your lame-ass town. I will tell you something else: If you piss him off he’ll take his $700 million multipurpose project and his maybe yes/maybe no retractable stadium roof somewhere else.

I apologize. I shouldn’t have used profanity. It’s just that I get emotional when I believe an honest developer is being unfairly criticized. Here in Syracuse, the Congels are like our own Rockefellers, only greener.

What!? Again, you’re misinformed. Let me assure you that Bob Congel is not the Scrooge of Syracuse. Everyone here loves him, from the politicians he showered with donations to the contractors he always treated with the utmost fairness and respect. I can’t even imagine Syracuse without Bob Congel. There’d be no P.F. Chang’s.

The Pyramid Corp. litigious? That’s pure nonsense. They have a barebones legal staff. Mainly it’s for pro bono work for the homeless. Congel-led companies don’t need lawyers. Their word is their bond.

Sorry — you’re breaking up. What was that? You want to talk about Medley Center in Irondequoit? What’s to talk about? Scott filed lawsuit against that town and anyone else he could think of because they had the audacity to charge him penalties for missing milestones on a mall redevelopment project. He’s trying to re-invent their local economy, and they’re citing technicalities. Those people don’t deserve a Congel mall.

OK, now you’re really splitting hairs. Yes, Scott owes a paltry $3.9 million in back taxes in Irondequoit. So? He probably just misplaced the money in his gym bag or something.

Of course he has the cash to buy the Buffalo Bills and pay his tax bill.

There most certainly is an aquarium at Destiny USA. Just the other day I saw Destiny partner Bruce Kenan feeding the sharks. The biggest one in the tank is named Cherundolo.

That’s a dumb question. Of course a Scott Congel-owned Bills franchise would include an offense and a defense.

OK, you raise a legitimate point. In theory, Western New York would have to float bonds to finance the Bills’ special teams. But those details could be extort . . . worked out later.

Seriously? You want Scott to leave West Seneca by Labor Day? We were hoping you’d let him stay longer. Much longer. Can’t he sleep on your couch?

Fine. We get it. Don’t call us if you ever need to borrow an extra snowplow.

Wait. Before you hang up, can you do us one small favor.

Make sure you put him on a bus headed west.

Email Jeff Kramer at [email protected]. Follow him on Twitter at @JKintheCuse.


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