On Facebook
“Just bought the ring. Four more days.” “Here’s a photo of my Starbucks drink.” (If this is you, I hate you.) Anything serious about your relationship. (The more it’s on Facebook, the worse it probably is in real life. Overcompensation is a bitch.)FourSquare
“John so-and-so just checked in at TGI Fridays at Destiny USA.” Why do you want everyone to know that? So we can stop by and pay our respects like you’re the Godfather or something?Google+
Everything you say makes you look nerdy. Because G+ is for nerds.YouTube
Anything while you’re drinking. (Friends don’t let friends use smartphones when drunk.)Every Social Network
Every selfie ever. Have you ever seen a good one?Fire on a plane selfie (Failbook)
Really Important Things Happening in Tech
A.k.a. Thinking Up a Better Title for This- Windows gives birth to “Cortana” – a voice activated copy cat of Siri and Google Voice (“Can we give her a name please?”) and is now standard on all brand made phones.
- T-Mobile stops selling Blackberries. “Hey the turn of the millennium called; they want their phone back.” Sources say they are looking into strawberries and perhaps bananas to roll out early in the third quarter.
- Google is reportedly testing a snooze button for Gmail. This is what the world needs.
- The gamer world pranks gamers with “April Fool’s Day” announcements that excite fans with false hope. You really have to be a gamer to get these.
- Some lesser banks report hackers raising ATM withdrawl limits. Because walking into the bank to get their money was much too difficult to do. Raising the amount of money in their bank accounts apparently didn’t occur to them.