Inevitable Coffee Ring

The Espresso Shot (#001)

There is such a thing as cafe etiquette.

A writer will pick up the slightest notion, movement or whisper.

Welcome to Thursday’s Espresso Shot. Bring on the bitter.


Communication Breakdown

There is beauty in using curse words. I use them. You use them. We all use them for emphasis, and that emphasis can be beautifully projected. However, overuse of such bombs make the mutterer sound like an ignorant asshat.

There is such a thing as cafe etiquette. If you have a laptop, you’re most likely going to need a seat by an outlet. If you are simply reading, or you’re having coffee with a friend, a small table off to the side or the bar (if one is available) is fitting. If someone is obviously looking for a place to sit, you allow them to sit at the table; the same rule applies as if you are on public transportation, and you give your seat up to a woman (if you’re a male) or the elderly (applies to everyone). If a wandering person is looking for a seat, you offer a seat near you regardless if there an outlet is in the question.

Taking a table with four chairs for yourself and a paperback book is fine. Not offering it up to wandering patrons is not cool. I had already offered an adjacent seat up, otherwise, I’d wave the person on over.


Granted, let’s say this guy in particular was eventually waiting for his significant other to arrive, and that took well over an hour. In the meantime, other people. He’s a gentleman in the sense that he was saving a table, but there is a common courtesy with time. The following day, he was seen on a more comfortable seat to the far wall of the cafe; his better half, sitting at a table doing work. Without warning, he bolted over to their designated table.

While wearing headphones, I could hear his talking through his teeth to her. His words were biting. He dropped a fuck-bomb in every place he could squeeze one into, and it got to the point where that word was all that could be heard. And people say black coffee is bitter. Regardless, his point was made, and I think she let out one noticeable hearty sob; that sob sounded like a stopped laugh, but I dared not look over.

louis[8]There is a time and place for arguments. We all argue. We all curse. Sometimes we argue with ourselves, and most of the time it’s nothing to beat yourself up over … unless you did something truly immoral.

However, there is a proper way to communicate. Breaking things, raising your voice, and swearing profusely does not make the argument any better. With considering the first in that list, this is why we cannot have nice things. The point of the argument is lost with the s-words, f-words, and whatever your mind and mouth can generate. The point can get lost, which can generate more frustration, and that will yield more cursing and yelling. Mentally, we think that we get through to the other person more clearly by raising one’s voice; however, you can still speak and be heard with your indoor voices on a daily basis.

However, sir, whoever you may be, that moment of getting on your partner’s case was more embarrassing for you than it probably was for her.

(No, I don’t consider myself an expert, a counselor or a doctor.)

To read more from ‘The Inevitable Coffee Ring’ – CLICK HERE

Christopher Malone

Christopher Malone plays with more thoughts and words at his blog, The Infinite Abyss(es), and at Kinani Blue. He can also be found creating worlds and playing with invisible objects with the Syracuse Improv Collective.  Feel free to tweet at @Chris___Malone, or email him at [email protected].


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