Get help for your bad habits, Scorpio. Horoscopes for the week of Dec. 12
ARIES (March 21-April 19) In 1930, some British mystery writers formed a club to provide each other with artistic support and conviviality. They swore an oath to write their stories so that solving crimes happened solely through the wits of their fictional detectives, and not through “Divine Revelation, Feminine Intuition, Mumbo Jumbo, Jiggery-Pokery or Act of God.” I understand that principle, but don’t endorse it for your use in the coming weeks. On the contrary. I hope you’ll be on the alert and receptive to Divine Revelations, Feminine Intuition, Mumbo Jumbo, Jiggery-Pokery and Acts of God.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20) When you’re prescribed antibiotic pills to fight off infection, you should finish the entire round. If you stop taking the meds partway through because you’re feeling better, you might enable a stronger version of the original infector to get a foothold in your system. This lesson provides an apt metaphor for a process you’re now undergoing. As you seek to purge a certain unhelpful presence in your life, you must follow through to the end. Don’t get lax halfway through. Keep on cleansing yourself and shedding the unwanted influence beyond the time you’re sure you’re free of it.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Danish scientist and poet Piet Hein wrote this melancholy meditation: “Losing one glove is painful, but nothing compared to the pain of losing one, throwing away the other, and finding the first one again.” Let his words serve as a helpful warning to you, Gemini. If you lose one of your gloves, don’t immediately get rid of the second. Rather, be patient and await the eventual reappearance of the first. The same principle applies to other things that might temporarily go missing.
CANCER (June 21-July 22) Cancerian author Elizabeth Gilbert is a soulful observer whose prose entertains and illuminates me. She’s well aware of her own limitations, however. For example, she writes, “Every few years, I think, ‘Maybe now I’m finally smart enough or sophisticated enough to understand Ulysses. So I pick it up and try it again. And by page 10, as always, I’m like, ‘What the hell?’” Gilbert is referring to the renowned 20th-century novel, James Joyce’s masterwork. She just can’t appreciate it. I propose that you make her your inspirational role model in the coming weeks. Now is a favorable time to acknowledge and accept that there are certain good influences and interesting things that you will simply never be able to benefit from. And that’s OK!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) More than three centuries ago, Dutch immigrants in New York ate a dessert known as the olykoek, or oily cake: sugar-sweetened dough deep-fried in pig fat. It was the forerunner of the modern doughnut. One problem with the otherwise delectable snack was that the center wasn’t always fully cooked. In 1847, a man named Hanson Gregory finally found a solution. Using a pepper shaker, he punched a hole in the middle of the dough, thus launching the shape that has endured until today. I bring this to your attention because I suspect you’re at a comparable turning point. If all goes according to cosmic plan, you will discover a key innovation that makes a pretty good thing even better.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) I can’t believe I’m going to quote pop star Selena Gomez. But according to my analysis of the current astrological omens, her simple, homespun advice could be especially helpful to you in the coming weeks. “Never look back,” she says. “If Cinderella had looked back and picked up the shoe, she would have never found her prince.” Just to be clear, Virgo, I’m not saying you’ll experience an adventure that has a plot akin to the Cinderella fairy tale. But I do expect you will benefit from a “loss” as long as you’re focused on what’s ahead of you rather than what’s behind you.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Among the pieces of jewelry worn by superstar Elvis Presley were a Christian cross and a Star of David. “I don’t want to miss out on heaven due to a technicality,” he testified. In that spirit, and in accordance with astrological omens, I urge you, too, to cover all your bases in the coming weeks. Honor your important influences. Be extra-nice to everyone who might have something to offer you in the future. Show your appreciation for those who have helped make you who you are. And be as open-minded and welcoming and multicultural as you can genuinely be. Your motto is “Embrace the rainbow.”
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Are you a gambling addict seeking power over your addiction? If you live in Michigan or Illinois, you can formally blacklist yourself from all casinos. Anytime your resolve wanes and you wander into a casino, you can be arrested and fined for trespassing. I invite you to consider a comparable approach as you work to free yourself from a bad habit or debilitating obsession. Enlist some help in enforcing your desire to refrain. Create an obstruction that will interfere with your ability to act on negative impulses.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” Author John Green asked that question. I confess that I’m not entirely comfortable with it. It’s a bit pushy. I find I’m more likely to do remarkable things if I’m not trying too hard to do remarkable things. Nevertheless, I offer it as one of your key themes for 2019. I suspect you will be so naturally inclined to do remarkable things that you won’t feel pressure to do so. Here’s my only advice: up the ante on your desire to be fully yourself; dream up new ways to give your most important gifts; explore all the possibilities of how you can express your soul’s code with vigor and rigor.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) In the fairy tale “Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” the heroine rejects both the options that are too puny and too excessive. She wisely decides that just enough is exactly right. I think she’s a good role model for you. After your time of feeling somewhat deprived, it would be understandable if you were tempted to crave too much and ask for too much and grab too much. It would be understandable, yes, but mistaken. For now, just enough is exactly right.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) In 1140, two dynasties were at war in Weinsberg, in what’s now southern Germany. Conrad III, leader of the Hohenstaufen dynasty, laid siege to the castle at Weinsberg, headquarters of the rival Welfs dynasty. Things went badly for the Welfs, and just before Conrad launched a final attack, they surrendered. With a last-minute touch of mercy, Conrad agreed to allow the women of the castle to flee in safety along with whatever possessions they could carry. The women had an ingenious response: They lifted their husbands onto their backs and hauled them away to freedom. Conrad tolerated the trick, saying he would stand by his promise. I foresee a metaphorically comparable opportunity arising for you, Aquarius. It won’t be a life-or-death situation like that of the Welfs, but it will resemble it in that your original thinking can lead you and yours to greater freedom.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) The National Center for Biotechnology Information reported on a 15-year-old boy who had the notion that he could make himself into a superhero. First he arranged to get bitten by many spiders in the hope of acquiring the powers of Spider-Man. That didn’t work. Next, he injected mercury into his skin, theorizing it might give him talents comparable to the Marvel Comics mutant character named Mercury. As you strategize to build your power and clout in 2019, Pisces, I trust you won’t resort to questionable methods like those. You won’t need to! Your intuition should steadily guide you, providing precise information on how to proceed. And it all starts now.
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