Dallas police said Dwayne Lamont Moten, 20, hired a friend, Jacob Wheeler, 20, to shoot him, intending to blame the crime on his wife’s boyfriend so he could gain custody of his 3-year-old son.

Police accused Anthony Parkhurst, 20, of stealing a 2001 Honda van advertised on Craigslist by taking it for a test drive but never returning. Orlando police Sgt. Stanley Klem said Parkhurst then listed the vehicle on Craigslist himself and sold it to a couple for $4,000.

People noticed Dennis Hawkins, 48, when he showed up at a shopping center supermarket wearing a womans blonde wig, a sweater with fake breasts under it and clown pants. Police in Swissvale, Pa., said Hawkins proceeded to a Kmart store, where surveillance cameras caught him shoplifting a BB gun.

Curses, Foiled Again

Authorities investigating a burglary in King County, Wash., found that in addition to a digital camera, laptop computer, iPod and DVD player, the intruder took clean clothes and left behind his soiled underwear, jeans and shoes. Sheriff’s Detective Cary Coblantz said he “specifically requested that the underpants be analyzed for a DNA profile,” which identified a 39-year-old man with a long criminal history as the suspect. He was already in jail for several counts of residential burglary but had been out on bail when the underpants burglary occurred. (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

Curses, Foiled Again

New Zealand police said surveillance cameras showed two people in front of a Wellington store, trying to smash the front window with a rock. They gave up and fled, Detective Sgt. Mark Scott said, after the rock rebounded off the window and hit one of the offenders on the head. (New Zealand Press Association)

A man who robbed a bank in Anchorage, Alaska, escaped on a bicycle but was stopped minutes later when he crashed into a police car responding to the bank alarm. The bicyclist, identified as Christopher Todd Mayer, 45, slid across of the vehicle but lost his backpack, according to police Lt. Dave Parker, who said, “He ended up in a heap with his money pouring out of his pack.” Mayer tried to flee on foot, but was nabbed half a block away. (Associated Press)

Curses, Foiled Again

Police identified Anthony Brandon Gonzalez, 20, as their suspect in a home invasion after the victim, an Elvis impersonator in Pueblo County, Colo., said that one of the invaders had “East Side” tattooed on his upper lip. Gonzalez also has a “13” tattooed on his chin. According to an affidavit, the tattoos were visible even though Gonzalez was wearing a mask. “It’s hard to miss him,” Sgt. Eric Bravo said. (The Pueblo Chieftain)

Curses, Foiled Again

A woman in Fort Walton Beach, Fla., reported hearing a man outside her bedroom window telling someone on a cell phone, “I’m about to commit a crime.” She awoke her boyfriend, who said he observed the intruder sit down on a nearby deck and continue his call. Later, he heard a glass door breaking. An Okaloosa County sheriff’s deputy who responded followed a trail of blood from the glass door to a nearby intersection, where he found Kevin Wayne Weathersby, 30, sitting on a curb bleeding. (Northwest Florida Daily News)

A worker counting the night’s take at a Burger King in Pine Bluff, Ark., told police a man approached with a gun, threatened to kill her and demanded the cash. When he set the gun down so he could put the money in a bag, the worker grabbed it, shot the robber during a struggle, then put him in a headlock and called police, who arrested Jason Robinson, 22. (Pine Bluff Commercial Appeal)

Curses, Foiled Again

Authorities investigating a bank robbery in St. Cloud, Minn., nabbed their suspect after officials at Mystic Lake Casino observed him depositing cash into slot machines in exchange for credit slips. “In effect, he was laundering his money through the casino,” police Sgt. Martin Sayre said. Casino officials became suspicious because Salamo Nam Rakotojoelinandrasana, 23, was exchanging bills covered with red dye, which the bank used to mark the stolen money. (Minneapolis’s Star Tribune)

When Kenneth Parkerson, 28, sneaked into the screened patio of a home in Coral Springs, Fla., carrying a video camera, he was confronted by homeowner Ireneusz Fajkis, a firefighter who also happens to be a mixed martial arts fighter. Fajkis chased the intruder, tackled him to the ground and beat him up before calling the police. “I picked the wrong house,” Parkerson reportedly told the hospital nurse who treated his wounds. (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)

Curses, Foiled Again

FBI investigators said Lois J. Harvey, 40, handed a hold-up note to a bank teller in Columbus, Ohio, who informed Harvey she couldn’t read it. While trying to explain the note, Harvey noticed an off-duty police officer in full uniform waiting in line behind her. She grabbed the note and hastily left. Informed by the teller what had happened, the officer went after Harvey, who, when caught, tried to eat the note. When the officer arrested her, she coughed it up. (The Columbus Dispatch)

Authorities identified Joshua Tell Warner, 23, as the man who robbed three Oregon banks after receiving calls pointing out that the suspect was a deckhand on a crab boat who appeared on the television reality show Deadliest Catch. Following his arrest at a traffic stop in East Peoria, Ill., Warner pleaded guilty. (Eugene’s The Register-Guard)

Curses, Foiled Again

Minutes after receiving a report that a convenience store had been robbed, police in Suffolk, Va., found suspect Sean Almond, 43, behind the store, having interrupted his getaway to urinate. He had the stolen cash on him. (The Virginian-Pilot)

When Clair Arthur Smith, 42, received a $10 check from Florida Gulf Bank after closing his account, he altered it to read $269,951, then tried to deposit it to another account using a Bank of America ATM. Lee County sheriff’s investigators promptly arrested Smith, who confessed. (Fort Myers News-Press)