Curses, Foiled Again
Sheriff’s Deputy Venita Edge reported she was fueling her marked patrol car at a station in Fultondale, Ala., when Matthew Kinard, 27, pulled alongside her and asked her to check to see if there were any outstanding warrants on him. When a search turned up one outstanding warrant for unlawful possession of a controlled substance, Edge took him into custody. Her report said that on the way to the county jail, he announced, “I am the stupidest criminal in the world.” (The North Jefferson News) Police Officer Dan Lyons said Selma Elmore, 44, stopped him on patrol in Lockland, Ohio, and asked if there’s a curfew for adults. Told no, she then asked whether there was a warrant for her arrest. Told yes, Elmore took off running, leading Lyons on a brief chase that ended when she shoved him into a building and other officers apprehended her, adding a charge of resisting arrest. (Cincinnati Enquirer)
Second-Amendment Follies
The 4-year-old son of Pennsylvania State Trooper Nicholas Petrosky accidentally shot himself in the leg with his father’s gun. Donora police said Petrosky was drying his son after a shower when the boy grabbed the gun, which Petrosky had placed on the bathroom counter. (Pittsburgh’s WPXI-TV) Michael Hunter, 23, accidentally shot himself in the leg with a handgun he bought at a gun show in Manchester, N.H. Police said the gun fired while Hunter was trying to locate the safety. (Manchester’s WMUR-TV)
Hop In
Witnesses told police investigating a bank robbery in Capitola, Calif., that the crook offered bystanders outside the bank $1,000 for a ride to Santa Cruz. Besides hunting the robber, police announced they’re looking for whoever may have accepted the offer. “That $1,000 belongs to the bank,” Sgt. Mark Gonzalez said. (Santa Cruz Sentinel)
Secondhand Hair
British hairdresser Edwina Phillipson, 51, said that inhaling tiny hair clippings for 35 years caused a hole in her septum that required surgery to repair. Phillipson explained that her troubles started 12 years ago when her nose began to get irritated from hairs in the air at work, and scratching eventually created an open wound that became infected. Eventually, her nose collapsed and had to be rebuilt. She now wears a surgical mask at the unisex salon she owns in Newbiggin-by-the-Sea. “As a hairdresser, you’re working with tiny clippings of short hair, so you end up hoovering {vacuuming} them up your nose inadvertently,” Phillipson said. “It’s not just the hair. It’s the dead skin cells, gel on people’s hair and other particles they bring in with them.” (Britain’s Daily Mail)
Barney Fife Award Winners
Three guards and a sheriff’s deputy at the jail in Greene County, Ark., were searching a holding cell for contraband when inmate Jacob Rodden ran out of the cell, shut the door and inserted the security pin, trapping the officers with some of the inmates they were searching. A jail matron came to their rescue. Sheriff Dan Langston blamed the mishap on a lack of training. (Paragould Daily Press)
Irony of the Century
Smoking pot may slow or halt Alzheimer’s disease, according to researchers at California’s Scripps Research Institute. Reporting in the journal Molecular Pharmaceutics, they discovered that marijuana’s active ingredient — delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) — helps preserve brain function. “Compared to currently approved drugs prescribed for the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease, THC is a considerably superior inhibitor of Abeta aggregation,” the key pathological marker of Alzheimer’s, said the study, whose authors point out it “provides a previously unrecognized molecular mechanism through which cannabinoid molecules may directly impact the progression of this debilitating disease.” (MSNBC)
Techno World
When Las Vegas voters complained after they’d been awakened during the night by automated phone calls urging their support for a ballot measure to change how state judges are selected, the California company that campaign’s organizers hired to make the calls apologized — with another robo call.
The voice of Paul Stone of Campaign Solutions blamed “human error and computer error” for mixing up a.m. and p.m. (KTNV-TV) The telecom company Ncell launched high-speed Internet service on Mount Everest by erecting a transmission tower at the 29,035-foot peak’s base camp. Ncell said the new service lets climbers surf the web faster, send video clips and e-mails, and make phone calls cheaply. (Reuters)
When Guns Are Outlawed
Larry Franklin, 16, tried to rob a convenience store in DeLand, Fla., by pointing a bottle of salad dressing at the clerks. Police said one of the clerks responded by pulling a gun and calling police. (Orlando’s WFTV-TV) Authorities in Cuyahoga County, Ohio, accused two Cleveland-area residents of robbing a convenience store by threatening the clerk with a bacterial infection. The official report explained that two of the robbers, Caroline Slusher, 32, and Austin Tenerove, 27, were taking candy off the shelf when the clerk confronted them. Slusher pulled up her sleeve and showed the clerk her arm, stated that she was infected with methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) and warned the clerk to get away from her. She and Tenerove then fled in a waiting van, driven by Michael Slusher, 27. (Northern Ohio’s The News-Herald)
Back to Paper-or-Plastic
Officials for Publix, a supermarket chain in the Southeast, said they would ask suppliers of their reusable grocery bags to lower the lead content after The Tampa Tribune found elevated levels of the toxin in bags it tested. The Florida newspaper reported that some of the bags had enough lead that they would be considered hazardous waste if residents put them in their household trash. (The Tampa Tribune)
Taking the Plunge
When a tractor-trailer caught fire after pulling over at a bridge on Interstate 65 in Hoover, Ala., the driver of a vehicle going the other way stopped to check on the truck driver. The good Samaritan jumped over a retaining wall but fell to his death. Police Capt. Jim Coker pointed out that a paramedic died at least 20 years before in the same spot when he leaped over the retaining wall to check on an accident victim and fell to his death. (The Birmingham News) Sharon R. Glover, 55, was riding in a motor home traveling on Interstate 10 near Defuniak Springs, Fla., when she walked to the rear of the vehicle to use the restroom. She was seriously injured after she opened a door, fell out and slid 100 feet on the paved emergency lane before hitting the grass shoulder, according to the Florida Highway Patrol, which reported, “It is unknown if the passenger opened the wrong door or leaned on the door.” (Northwest Florida Daily News)
Above Suspicion
The Baltimore City Health Department issued its first environmental citation for repeat violation of the city’s trans fat ban. The offender was a restaurant named Healthy Choice. (WBAL-TV)
Hug Those Trees
Crime occurs less in neighborhoods with big trees and more at homes with small ones, according to a U.S. Forest Service study using crime data from Portland, Ore. Forester Geoffrey Donovan explained that large trees might signal to crooks that a neighborhood is well cared for, making it more likely that criminals will be caught, whereas small trees can provide hiding places for criminals and obstruct their illicit activities. (Associated Press)
Right Under Their Noses
Deputies investigating a possible break-in at a museum in Hillsboro, Ore., stumbled on their suspect when a search dog followed the scent from a large hole in the wall of the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals for about a half-mile and became “very interested in a particular piece of ground,” Washington County sheriff’s Sgt. Gregory Thompson said. “The dog then bit the ground that in turn cried out in pain.” The dog’s handler realized Gregory Liascos, 36, was hiding at his feet, dressed head to toe in a moss-like camouflage outfit, known as a ghillie suit. (Associated Press)
First Things First
Miguel Soto III, 25, was leaving a deli in New Haven. Conn., after buying a sandwich, when two men shot him in the leg and groin. The victim told police he went home and ate his sandwich before asking his father for a ride to the hospital to have his wounds treated. (The New Haven Register) Detroit police reported that before two men attacked and robbed an 85-year-old woman who hired them to rake her leaves, they first raked the victim’s entire front yard, neatly bagged the leaves and put them on the curb. (WDIV-TV)
Fat-Cat Justice
Facing felony charges after striking a bicyclist from behind with his 2010 Mercedes Benz sedan in Eagle, Colo., and then speeding away, Martin Joel Erzinger, 52, had the charges reduced to misdemeanor traffic violations.
Court records indicate Erzinger drove some distance after running down the cyclist before stopping at a parking lot, where he called the Mercedes auto assistance service to report damage to his vehicle and request a tow. He did not notify the police about the cyclist, who was seriously injured. Erzinger is a financial manager for “ultra-high net worth individuals, their families and foundations,” according to his biography, and would have to publicly disclose felony charges. “Felony convictions have some pretty serious job implications for someone in Mr. Erzinger’s profession, and that entered into it,” District Attorney Mark Hurlbert said of the reduced charges, noting that Erzinger is willing to pay restitution. “When you’re talking about restitution, you don’t want to take away his ability to pay.” (Vail Daily)
Queue Clues
The average British adult can tolerate waiting in line only 10 minutes and 42 seconds before becoming upset, according to an online survey by Britain’s Payments Council. Respondents over age 55 became impatient more than three minutes before younger people, but those under 35 were more likely to take out their frustrations on those around them. Supermarket lines topped the list of hated waits, followed by post-office lines and airport check-in and security lines. Two-thirds of the respondents said the most irritating part of lines is people in front of them who dawdle. (Reuters)
News and Blues is compiled from the nation’s press. To contribute, submit original clippings, citing date and source, to Roland Sweet in care of The New Times.
